A Spiraling Eliptical Life 12-10-04 
Things have been getting better. Day by day, week by week, month by month...we'll see about year by year. As little the progress is of my life trying to make it feel better and run better, at least some is better than none. 
Finally out on my own with the help of 3 of my friends, I have moved apart from my mother and no longer have to worry about what time I come home, or what I'm doing that might upset her. Now, I am my own person...still searching, for that true happiness. 
My life the past 3 years has run a rather eliptical life. Repeating itself of course, but spiraling eliptically upwards suprisingly enough. Yet at times it seems to almost repeat itself or mirror itself half way through. This is quite fine with me as there is not too much I can really do about it. 
Each morning as I wake up (too early in my opinion) I think about the things I can do that day, or even so, the things I can accomplish. It excites me and gives me just enough drive to actually go outside to this coldish weather and drive to work...at 6 in the morning. Like good ol' Willy Wonka said; "So little to do, but so much time. Wait, reverse that. So much to do, so little time." That is truly how my life is becoming now. I must say, I am enjoying it. It is not stressful, but more so an exciting challenge to my life that used to be filled with...so little to do...but so much time. 
The more I would sit around the more the boredom would kick in, replacing boredom with thoughts that did not necessarily need to be processed. These thoughts did not help my inner human psyche what so ever, but rather confused myself as to who I am and where I am going in this ocean of chaos. Now, it is more so do what I feel like when I feel like, but this time...at my own pace. It is more enjoyable and easier to comprehend, leaving my systematic brain to comprehend what I want it to. Not, what it wants to. 
My whole purpose of this entry is not to just journalize my past week, but more so throw out the idea that from time to time you will have those chances to make a decision (whether it be impulsive or thought out) that could really change the way you see life. It could change you outlook on things, and help you begin to understand yourself. Staying true to yourself comes along with such a deed or task...however you would like to look at it. 
Yes it is true, I am happier now than I have been in a while. It is only getting better by each hour, day, week month, and probably year. I do not wish to look back in anger, I do not wish to wish of something else...I just want... 
Life.