A Fool To Believe 
So, now you have control, you have me wrapped around you finger and you know I do not care that it is this way. 
I do not know why you are toying with me, you are a terrible liar. I will never be good enough for you will I? I was not once, and apparently will never be. All I wanted was to love you and make you smile...apparently that was too much to ask for. Evidently, too much to want. 
You are free to leave me, but just don't deceive me and please, believe me when I say; "I love you." 
You are, yes you are, the most bi-polar individual I have ever been with. 
My life is a fucking whirlwind of a wreck. Clouded in monotany and boredom. So many view me as a jokester or a liar, trying to shed their own imprefections or to improve upon their own image. Your security must come at the expense of my life eh? You flip out for no true reason at all...oh you have justification do you? No you do not. You seem to forget your own problems...you don't understand yourself yet you claim to understaind everyone else...especially me. You do not know me, you only assume--get the fuck off me. 
To the rest of you. Do not claim that you understand how my mind works or how I do things because you do not...and unless I truly like you--you will not. "Trust me". So many say those two words so easily and loosely it has no beaing on anything anymore. It swiftly slides into one ear and slips out the other. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. 
Why? Why must you people attempt to understand the type of person that I am? WHY!? You do not even understand yourself, so give me one good fucking reason...I should even so much as look at you. You cannot, can you? A closet arrogant fool, a pathological story teller, a perfectionist over-reactor, a double opposite minded goddess, a seemingly innocent mute, and the killer: an attention wanting whore. If you are still reading this right now, have no fear--none of the above individuals are any of you...they would not dare to read this. 
So what is it I that I am after? I am not after anything but more so wanting to get away from everything. You, my love--how much shall I pay you? How much!? Tell me now! You made me believe that you actually loved me... 
thank you for curing my ridiculous obsession with love...